Bad company.

Fear of loss is a fickle thing;
it passes, returns, crests and passes.
For me, it is timely and at times invisible,
other times far too visible –
horribly so.

People lose, gain, love and are pained;
a cycle without beginning or end.

Attempted assassination of the heart, mind, body, soul
makes one’s head foggy, full of smoke.
Vicious talons, vicious talons,
do tell me where you’re headed.

As music fills my ears, the world dims,
my words become a mess,
my voice, my honest voice, is all I have.

Attempting to make my thoughts reality,
perception-worthy marks on my psyche,
I find I often fail.
None of it makes much difference most of the time.

A front line soldier.

An ongoing battle;
it’s merely my part.
As I step to the front lines,
I’m petrified.

I will never be waterproof
and I will fall often –
a knockout blow always takes me down.

Out of tears, out of their meaning;
Flailing as I attempt to gather the pieces
after destructive realizations.

Call me wonderful,
(I’ve heard it before),
but never bother to show its meaning.

A helpless victim to my own vices,
and I can’t grasp concepts anymore.
One more cigarette, one more day.

Liquid temptation, take me by the hand,
lead me to Eden, help me understand.
Drift as smoke into the air, coil and spin.

The recoil strike’s never easy,
the shotgun of my mind’s lethal –
I’ve got the smile of a killer.

I always know where they are,
I always see them,
I always end up in their arms.

Comforted by discomfort;
(help me here), listen,
my shields are up.

There’s a fire inside of me,
dangerous and malevolent,
but it’ll never lay a flame on you.

Melancholia is my lover,
her eyes the bluest blue,
and I’ll take my mask from the table;

Welcome back, baby.

Én route.

As day falls into the arms of the night
and the night is woken by the embrace of the dawn,
flowing into day again,

I’m with you.

My mask fell when yours did;
it cascaded down in a flow of facadebits
(things that were no longer selfishly necessary)

The light is brighter,
the night less melancholy,
my mind less chaotic,
and my heart –
it’s for you to hold.

I see the rising sun in your glowing eyes;
reach for me in the dark and I’ll feel it too.

My entire being pulses in blue,
from my eyes to my veins as you drift through them.

And the only thing brighter than the morning sun is how I feel waking up with you.