Unapologetically.

Respiratory problems enveloped me and I feel even an inhaler wouldn’t help now.
One of those couldn’t hurt, though.
Fuck, claustrophobia nestles in with my other fears and paranoias;
My body burns and twinges occasionally.
My center is long gone as I reach out, trying to grasp it.
My center might be with someone else.
My center might not even exist.

A feeling similar to a gag reflex takes over my entire carcass each time I attempt to cough, but end up not breathing for several seconds.
This is purgatory.

I finally feel emotions I should’ve felt gods-know-how-long-ago.
Visual bending as seeing around corners becomes possible again.

Entities pick at strings inside me; we’re mere tools for the use of endless minds.
Flesh and blood combined don’t mean shit.

The world can rush when eyes are closed; I’m short of breath.
Feelings are felt as if through another being, like they’re not mine to feel.
Immense longing to walk and walk and walk and never stop takes control;
Letting go has always been difficult.

The napalm inside me is building up again.
It’s a fucking brutal war inside and I find myself, see myself, passed out on my floor as the elongation-addition-stretch of me walks out the door and lights a cigarette.

Find a happy place, find a happy place - stop writhing for nothing, pathetic piece of shit.

I’m nearly found, but the radar’s beeping precariously as something nears.